A Mother is the Truest Friend We Have

My mom left today from a wonderful 10 day visit. We spent most of our time eating, drinking wine and spending time with the kids. I always love having my mom visit. It makes me think about all of the nutty stuff I put my mom through growing up and now being a mom myself, how valuable it is to have the relationship we have.

My mom and I actually always had a funny relationship. I was the youngest of 3 girls and both parents worked full time jobs. I was never a "bad" kid; I followed the rules and did what I was told. It wasn't until my sophomore year of high school that I did my own thing. I wasn't rebellious, but I embraced the grungy, non-conformist ideas of the early 90's. It's hilarious to think back on the things I thought were worth fighting for! I never thought of the bigger picture or even my life past high school.

My mom, being the tolerant, patient, faithful woman she was pulled me aside one evening to ask me why I dressed the way I dressed. I don't remember what I was wearing, but my uniform those days usually consisted of black. All black. Maybe some striped tights if I was feeling up to it. My mom's inquiry wasn't an accusation or anything negative, it was a regular question that warranted a regular answer. I didn't get defensive, but I remembered the answer clearly. "I dress this way because no one else does." My mom accepted this answer and we went about our ways.

This is the funny relationship my mom and I have. In my adult years, I've found that our relationship is still the same. I rarely see my mom get too emotional, nor does she ever see me get too emotional either. Things are always good and we always have something to talk about, but seldom do either of us see the other facets of ourselves. I suppose that's because both my mom and I are alike in so many ways. My mom taught me to be tolerant, patient, to love God and to be accepting of challenging situations. The sides that we don't see or will not normally point out are the things that give us extreme joy or extreme sorrow. By nature we are guarded. I can't say that this is good or bad, it's just the way we are. I don't feel that our relationship is lacking at all, rather we love each other without words. We understand our own unspoken language.

As a mother myself I see that my children are just the opposite, although it's not hard to relate to them differently from how my mom relates to me. My children need constant reassurance that I'm there. That's just the way they are. I tell them that I love them every chance I get. I'm always telling them how proud I am of them and that they are good people. Maybe it's an age thing, but I don't ever remember my mom being this way. I just knew. And maybe that's just it: that my mom was confident in the way she raised me. She knew that I would be OK. She led by example and I followed.

My mom taught me that I need to stand on my own two feet even though my dad took care of her every need and want. She taught me to be kind and loving even to those that will take advantage of me. To me my mom is the essence of confidence. I watch my mom volunteer every spare moment of her time to her church and with Meals on Wheels. I watch her in the quietness of her garden sanctuary, tending to her plants and cactus. I watch her with my kids, as Lola, grandmother. I watch her walking into the airport, declining my request to walk with her to help check her into her flight. My mom is amazing and I love her for loving me just the way that I am.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavour by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

-Washington Irving-

Blogging Again? One Year in Many Paragraphs

It would be silly to say that nothing has changed, especially since I haven't posted in almost a year! In fact so much has happened I don't know where to start.

I guess I'll start where I left off: Last October...

October came and went so quickly! Lily turned 6 years old and was enjoying Kindergarten, making new friends and doing a wonderful job playing piano.

Lily's Special Birthday Dinner at Cafe 501

Sophie was enjoying her first year of Pre-K. She loved playing with her new friends and going to school like her big sister.

Sophie's Pre-K Graduation

We also spent our last snowy Winter in OK last year. It was wonderful!!!

My Little Monkeys

The New Year was in full swing and we were as busy as ever. Teaching Zumba Fitness became a large part of my lifestyle and I took the opportunity to teach whenever my schedule allowed. The ups and downs of being a Navy spouse soon became a part of a regular routine and oddly enough we were happy!

Spring, however, evolved into a different story. It started off with a fantastic beach celebration of my sister's graduation from PT School. For the first time in years, we were all able to meet up in one place to celebrate Lisa and Adam's accomplishments and for a family reunion of sorts! The kids loved running around calling Lisa and Adam "Doctor Tita Lisa" and "Doctor Mister Adam."

This photo makes me laugh every time! We were all set and posed for a family picture and just as the camera snapped the picture, the banner of Lisa's school came crashing down behind us!

While we were enjoying our own family reunion, were also able to meet and celebrate with Adam's family. Spending quality time with family and extended family really made the trip a memorable one. It was one huge celebration everyday with something hilarious happening everyday! Everyone enjoyed themselves and the company we were surrounded with.

As always, all joyful things must come to and end. We packed up and headed home, looking forward to Matt coming back from yet another deployment. Lolo and Lola were able to spend a couple of days with me and the kids. I was excited to have this time with them since my dad rarely travels and this was the first time since I was a kid that I remembered both of my parents so relaxed and in the moment.

Lola and Lolo: Proud parents!

It was April and we were getting ready to wrap up another school year. We were also waiting to hear what and where our next orders were going to be. We were finally going to have Shore Duty! We had so much to think about in such little time and that's when a bomb dropped and exploded right in my face. Obviously God wanted me to pay attention to something more important...

On April 24th at 7:16am I received a text from my sister Karen that she, her son and my parents were in the Emergency Room in Palm Springs, CA. My dad had stopped breathing. I refused to believe it. That's not like my dad to go down without a fight.

And he didn't...

Instead he decided that he would stick around a little longer; at least to say good bye. After weeks in a coma, a shunt put in his brain, a tricky surgery to close off a bleeding blood vessel in his brain, the Lord decided that He needed my dad.

On May 5th 2010, my dad passed away peacefully with his beautiful wife, his 3 children and one of his sisters at his side. Just like the jovial person he was, he passed away on Cinco de Mayo. Just another excuse to celebrate and have a beer in his honor! I don't think my dad would have wanted it any other way.

The following 2 weeks were a blur. Between finding out how to transport my dad from CA to AZ where my parents live, to getting Matt and the kids out to join us and finally keeping my mom comfortable. My sisters and I grew very concerned for my mom since we all live in different states.

As a woman who puts faith in God I knew that there was a plan for all of us. Dad took very good care of us and it was our turn to take care of our mom. Once we came up with an action plan for my mom, my dad focused our attention on ourselves. My dad always took care of himself, mentally and physically. Although he battled his own insecurities and anxieties, he always worked on them. Little by little he would overcome those issues.

Life has not been the same since my dad passed away. The kids often ask about him and there isn't an hour that passes that he isn't in my thoughts.


Summer quickly reared its lovely head and we were off to warmer, more tropical weather. Shore Duty brought the sunny skies and sandy white beaches of Florida! A whirlwind of goodbyes in Oklahoma closed another chapter in the book of my life.

We moved to FL 2 weeks before Lily started First Grade! I don't see it on a daily basis because she's my baby, but this picture of her first day of school tells the tale:

She'll always be my baby...

It wasn't so long ago that this little girl was just a little baby! She's a sponge for knowledge and she's adjusting to her new school. Even more shocking is Sophie. She still has that cute little baby face, but her words and sentences are clearly those of a 4 year old!

Big little girl!

We had to improvise a birthday party for Sophie. We hadn't met any new friends yet, but we made the most of it with some cupcakes from a local cupcake shop and breakfast for dinner, per Sophie's request! Luckily, we were able to celebrate her birthday earlier in the Summer with GrandMa, GrandPa and Great GrandMa in Oklahoma.

All in all things are shaping up quite nicely! The events of the past year has taught me to look at the bigger picture. To spend quality time with my family again, to reignite my love for crafting again, to focus on what my family needs from me, to focus on myself as well.

I have said many posts before that blogging is quite cathartic for many people. Myself included. Even though I skimmed through most of the details of my dad's passing and my mourning, it still feels better to see it written (or typed) out. I am currently only teaching one Zumba Fitness class right now. I feel that my family needs me now more than ever. It's time to mend the giant hole in my quilt of life and I need my family to help me do that. I pulled my dusty sewing machine out of it's box (poor thing) and I have selected an old favorite book to re-read. They say that time heals all wounds. I believe this to be true, only we have to heal on God's time. It won't be tomorrow, it won't be next year, but rest assured it will heal.






"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it."
- Tori Amos -